Second Opinion
I am so grateful for the doctor who listened to me and put in the appropriate referrals and orders for imaging and labs. She has supported me and allowed me to gather the pieces of the puzzle. She would be the one to perform the surgery if I decided to go through with it. I hesitate, however, to have her remove my cyst. This is because I would also like for endometriosis lesions to be removed and she does not do this particular surgery very often. No shade to her but I want an endometriosis specialist to do the surgery to ensure it is done properly and nothing is missed.
I’ve heard of too many stories of women with endometriosis who did not have their surgeries done by a specialist. As a result, the tissue was not fully removed and therefore they did not experience relief. It is not uncommon for a woman with endometriosis to endure several surgeries. Nope not me! I’m praying for one surgery done right. So though I have so much respect for my gynecologist, I sought out an OBGYN that is a specialist for a second opinion.
As I’ve mentioned, I would love to have a Black woman perform my surgery. I worry about the racial bias in healthcare. I looked through the gynecologists that are vetted through Nancy’s Nook and I found one! She’s local, an endometriosis specialist, and a Black woman. I read through her limited reviews and I’m not going to lie, there were a few negative ones. In fact, the negative reviews were similar. They basically said she was insensitive. One of my first thoughts was could she be labeled as an angry Black woman? Also, I thought if she’s straight no chaser, that’s fine. I can handle it. I didn’t discredit those reviews but they had me thinking. Who is this woman? She also has more positive reviews than negative so I decided to give it a shot and book an appointment with her.
Well, unfortunately I could see why this doctor received some bad reviews. I fired this woman in my mind within a few minutes into our conversation. She began the conversation asking me why I made an appointment with her and inquired about my symptoms. When I explained to her my symptoms and that it was suspected that I had endometriosis she immediately seemed annoyed and said, “just because you have a laundry list of symptoms doesn’t mean you have endometriosis”. She’s right; sure it can potentially be something else. But she was rude and dismissive in her approach.
I mentioned my grandmother had a hysterectomy at age 27 for similar symptoms to which she said, “grandmas have been having hysterectomies for years”. She went on to tell me endometriosis is not genetic. (Endometriosis is genetic and tends to run in families). I shared that my symptoms get worse when I’m menstruating in an effort to provide her enough data to give me some guidance. She told me, “sounds like you really want to have endometriosis”. We discussed the results of the my ultrasound where the mass was found. I referred to it as an endometrioma and she questioned how I knew that’s what it was. My gynecologist of course told me. She reviewed some notes and rudely said, “well your gynecologist needs to do a MRI like it says on this note.”
I was done with her. It felt like this weird back and forth and she was not listening to me. I can tell she didn’t want me as a patient as she told me I need to go back to my doctor and get a MRI and was quick to excuse me. There was zero compassion or empathy during that conversation. She came off as if she thought I was exaggerating my symptoms. Early on in the call I decided that even if she knew what she was doing I didn’t want her negative energy to be a part of my healthcare team.
Of course, this was a negative experience coming from any provider but if I’m going to be honest, it hurt more that it came from a Black woman. Being a part of a marginalized group I have been intentional when it comes to my care. I realize there are biases against me as a Black woman, which is why I advocate myself. Additionally, it takes women with endometriosis in general several years to get diagnosed. This appointment was a prime example why. I’ve spent many hours researching this disease and speaking to those who have it so that I am well informed and able to speak confidently about it with a healthcare team. I anticipated not having to be so hyper vigilant with a doctor that looks like me, especially someone who is an endometriosis specialist. But I was wrong. I’m disappointed. On to the next.